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Tuesday, 31 October 2017

Short Stories (2)



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A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby.
Say, farmer. Is that bull safe?
Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!

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My wife had her driver's test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.



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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

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Back in the Old West three Texas cowboys were about to be hung for cattle rustling. The lynch mob brought the three men to a tree right at the edge of the Rio Grande. The idea was that when each man had died, they d cut the rope and he d drop into the river and drift out of sight They put the first cowboy in the noose, but he was so sweaty and greasy he slipped out, fell in the river and swam to freedom. They tied the noose around the second cowboy’s head. He, too, oozed out of the rope, dropped into the river and got away. As they dragged the third Texan to the scaffold, he resisted, “Please! Would yaw l tighten that noose a little bit?
I can’t swim!”


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A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, “Ah shore do, wardn. Ah d be mighty grateful if n yoo d play Achy Breaky Heart fur me bahfore ah hafta go.” “Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that,” says the warden. He turns to the biker, “And you, biker, What’s your last request?” “That you kill me first.”

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If you were home alone, and you heard a fart, would you be scared or laugh?

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