1) I went to a really energetic "Seafood Disco" last week .... and pulled a mussel.
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3) I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, "No, you're right the steaks are too high."
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4) Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
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5) Answer phone message "....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."
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6) Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, straight up, no bull!"
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7) A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says "What are you supposed to be?" The man says "A premature ejaculation." "What?" says the woman. The man explains "I've just come in my pants."
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8) A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
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9) A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
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10) A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
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11) Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.
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